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The Royal Treatment Review – Superficial, Treacly Sweet, Trope-Ridden Affair

By Binged Bureau - Jan 22, 2022 @ 06:01 pm
1.5 / 5
BOTTOM LINE: Superficial, Treacly Sweet, Trope-Ridden Affair
Rating
1.5 / 5
Skin N Swear
None
Comedy, Romance

What Is the Story About?

Netflix’s latest romcom ‘The Royal Treatment’ centres on Isabella, aka Izzy (Laura Marano), who works her mother’s (Amanda Billing) NYC salon. She’s a do-gooder with a heart of gold and not a mean bone in her body. An unintended error leads the crown prince of Lavania, Prince Thomas (Mena Massoud) into her salon to get his hair cut for his engagement that evening to rich heiress Lauren (Phoenix Connolly). A bit of maneuvering on the part of Thomas’ master of the household, Walter (Cameron Rhodes) brings Izzy to Lavania to do the hair and makeup of the royals for the wedding. As Izzy and Thomas spend more time together, both feel themselves drawn to the other. Will the two give priority to their duties or to their overwhelming attraction for each other?

The Royal Treatment is written by Holly Hester and directed by Rick Jacobson.

Performances?

Lead actors Laura Marano and Mena Massoud have been saddled with two of the worst-written characters in filmdom. The characters of Izzy and Thomas have nothing that can endear them to viewers. They lack charm, personality and singularity. Both actors are thus utterly average in their roles.

Cameron Rhodes is in fine fettle as Walter. His appearances in the film are enjoyable to watch. The most enjoyable-to-watch duo in The Royal Treatment are Chelsie Preston Crayford as Destiny and Grace Bentley-Tsibuah as Lola, Izzy’s besties and co-workers at the salon. The two girls are a hoot.

Analysis

The Royal Treatment is a film that should never have got made. It is so ridden with tropes that it makes Mills & Boon novels look like classical literature. It is a story we’ve read, heard and watched countless times before. A strong-willed independent young woman with a heart of gold meets uber-rich young man with burdens to carry. He realises she’s one in a million—Thomas uses the word ‘refreshing’ so often for Izzy that you’ll pull out all your hair in frustration by the end of it all. He falls for her ‘refreshing’ candour, but more for her — heart of gold, love for children, compassion for the lesser privileged—you name it, Izzy’s got it.

All of it makes The Royal Treatment so cloyingly sweet that you’re hit by a craving for the dark and dreary so bad it’s not even funny. And to think we’d gotten desperately bored of the now-despised dark content that the streaming space seems to be crawling with. Dark/spicy/suspenseful/depraved is way better to watch than this superficial, treacly sweet, royal drivel. That it passed muster at Netflix is itself a marvel.

To make matters worse, there is nary a shred of chemistry between the two leads. They could’ve passed off as brother and sister with the kind of relationship they portray on screen. There’s zero connection between them, no intensity in their interactions, no tangling of emotions, no butterflies in their tummies, no sexual tension, no longing, nothing to create a romance so compelling that it draws you in without you even realising it.

Which is why the ultimate climax of the film feels false and flat. It’s as if the screenplay is only interested in ticking off the boxes as regards the basic requirements of a romance. If only the writer had given it a compelling ‘romantic treatment’, the movie would at least be watchable.

Music and Other Departments?

The background score of The Royal Treatment is just like its screenplay – ridden with tropes. So we have the mandatory rousing music to conjure wonder and romance, a bit of peppy notes to round off the humorous scenes, and filler music for the rest of the runtime. All in all, an utterly uninspiring background score. Lead Laura Marano performs the closing number – a nod to Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’. It is quite average, not a patch on the original. Marano’s got a great singing voice, though. The camerawork and editing are fine.

Highlights?

None

Drawbacks?

Trope-ridden screenplay

Zero chemistry between the leads

Poorly written characters

Did I Enjoy It?

No

Will You Recommend It?

No

The Royal Treatment Movie Review by Binged Bureau 

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