If you still think Zack Snyder and his so-called director’s cuts rock, you better watch the newly released director’s cuts of Rebel Moon. Repackaged as “Chapter One: Chalice of Blood” and “Chapter Two: Curse of Forgiveness”, these two Snyder cuts feel bigger yet shallower than their PG-13 predecessors. These cuts are way too longer than the original releases, but not better. We get a little more backstory, a bit more sex, and plenty of CGI blood, but both cuts pretty much have the same story as before and leave pretty much the same amount of impact as before, which was near to nothing.
The so-called “Chalice of Blood” opens with a nearly 20-minute-long opening segment, explaining the background story of the ninth or tenth most important character in both movies, Aris (played by Sky Yang). We are not saying that Yang did a bad job. What we are trying to say here is was Aris’ backstory really necessary in Snyder’s cuts? That scene should have made us care about Aris as a character. But as the movie progresses, we just forget about the poor guy. We believe now you guys are getting an idea about the disastrousness of these director’s cuts.
We believe it is time that Netflix should apologise for releasing the PG-13 rated versions of both Rebel Moon movies. What was the point of releasing them in the first place? To gain more viewership? To replicate the hype of Snyder’s Justice League? Or to insult the viewers’ intelligence?
One of the primary reasons that resulted in Mindhunter’s cancellation was its so-called extremely high budget. It’s okay. We get that Netflix cancelled the show because its viewership numbers did not justify its budget. But what about these highly derivative, unsurprisingly shallow, and over-budgeted pieces of pure space turds like Rebel Moon movies?
The most disappointing (and a bit laughable) thing about both Snyder versions is that these new cuts are structurally the same as their PG-13 cuts, despite getting clocked at a combined runtime of nearly six hours.
A few good things that come out of these new cuts are more violence, more blood, some new and pretty good-looking visuals, and Jimmy. Yes, Jimmy! Remember that Motherworld robot voiced by Anthony Hopkins? Well, he is one of the last members of the mechanical knights who were appointed to protect Princess Issa. Upon her tragic demise, these knights lost all their hope, ultimately forcing them to deliberately relinquish their ranks, honours, fighting skills, and all the good that was left in them. But thanks to Sam, one of the water girls at Veldt, who gives Jimmy some hope. His entire journey to enlightenment was beautiful to watch. His backstory undoubtedly leaves a longer lasting impact than the rest of the characters’ backstories, combined.
Instead of wasting a 20-minute opening sequence on Aris, Zack Snyder should have fleshed out the background stories of rebel siblings, Devra (Cleopatra Coleman) and Darrian Bloodaxe (Ray Fisher), particularly of Darrian’s because Ray Fisher looked good. Both Sofia Boutella (Kora) and Michiel Huisman (Gunnar) are terribly miscast and sometimes look way too much out of place, especially Huisman, whose acting just looks terrible. And giving a character like Kai is an insult to an actor like Charlie Hunnam. But he accepted the role. It seems like he’s just another Snyder fanboy who desperately wanted to work with him.
All four Rebel Moon movies (originals and director’s cuts) are now streaming on Netflix. Stay tuned for more updates.
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